Is There Really Ever Stillness?

Can there be?

 No matter how quiet I am, there’s the blood rushing, the heart beating. Even the frozen river is moving below the surface. Now, there’s the latest movement before dawn, the garbage man or the ambulance rushing into the day. In the puddles the molecules are separating, bumping into each other, attaching or letting go. Even in death we deteriorate and decompose. And then, the journey of the spirit. Can we ever achieve stillness?

 Yet, it feels still as I write. Although a dog barks in the distance and I know he’s moving closer. Mine may join him soon. The rooster sporadically crows. I feel his wings flapping and the birds will join the call and flight. Yet it’s still. I’m still even with all the movement within and around me. This winter stillness may be merely an illusion to prepare for growth. But I feel it in my mind.

Sure, the letting go of motion, a construct in an overly productive culture that lets us believe we rest only to produce and grow again. But are you? As you sit in the warming sun or the freezing cold, are you preparing for something, preparing to grow? Or is it simply nothing at all. Is stillness something to help us find the moment, the perceived “still” allowing us to stop and be.

 Could that be the goal of winter? To let us stop and be? Preparing for nothing but that. Being.

Try it. Take a minute or more and feel into nothing more than your inner motion, the work of the inner body to keep you in the moment. With gratitude, hold onto it and then, resume the external motion. The internal motion never stopped, yet, perhaps notice how you’ve changed.

Winter is for stillness. Stillness is for being. In our winter issue of Paradise Found, we explore the concept of stillness. Some wonderful artists have shared their impressions in music, writing, photography and art. Have a look and see if this winter stillness resonates with you.

Paradise Found

They Say You Want a Resolution

We all want to change the world, right?

I’ve avoided New Year’s resolutions for ever. It seems like a setup. So before I begin a new year with an anxiety producing list of new things to do, I take a moment to notice what’s been working.

In 2025 I was  kinder to myself. I’ll practice that more because it’s changed my world.

Maybe you noticed or maybe you didn’t but I backed off social media. I was afraid my business would crumble. It may have. But it wasn’t from not posting. The economy crumbling helped. But through it, I worked things that kept me sane: family, friends, my animals, visiting natural places, real places. More time with the real meant less time with photos and images that weren’t always real and weren’t helping me move forward. So, I’ll continue with more direct contact, like this email, like a call or message or a visit when I can. I even sent some Christmas cards this year. Real cards! It’s a start.

I got into the whole buy local and boycott movement. I’ve not been to Sam’s, Walmart, Home Depot or Whole Foods for the year. I didn’t ever visit them much, I admit. It hasn’t been tough. But it feels good to say no. We’ve got local hardware and grocery stores I support instead.

I cancelled Amazon and Spotify accounts. You can manage without them. Trust me. People tell me the “om’s” I now play in class from Insight Timer are meditative and non-triggering. I funnelled those membership dollars into non-profits I love like World Central Kitchen and the Coastal Conservancy in Maine. I also donated to a politician I like. I ask people to buy my books on bookshop.org or at their local bookstore.

It’s empowering to stop supporting things and people that put me down. Ending what amounts to one more abusive relationship is another step toward taking care of me.

I broke routine, accepting challenges that frightened me. I knew I’d grow from them. Or not. But I tried.

I travelled more than usual. That was wonderful.

So, do I want to change the world? I am. Because the only thing I can really change is me.

Happy New Year.

Don’t forget. You can buy my books on bookshop.org or at your local bookstore.

Have a look at Bathsheba Monk and my e magazine Paradise Found. You can find it here: https://issuu.com/paradise.-found/docs/paradise_found_85e548238de327?fr=xKAE9_zMzMw It’s real artists with real impressions of the paradise we call earth. We’ve also got a substack that supports it.

Join us here in Mexico for a great retreat at Tribal Tulum this winter and spring. Our new retreat featuring traditional Mexican healing modalities will be transformational. First is in January. Let me know if you’re interested.

And…. I’m very excited to plan a few weekend retreats in Down East Maine with Salt and Oak Farm over the summer. Still in planning but the seed’s been planted so perhaps you will come down to practice in the wild.

You don’t have to be good.

Tulum had her first half marathon this year. In the still, early morning, the patter of feet on pavement called me to the window to witness, like you might for the first snow. Moon setting, sun rising, I watched the fast and the slow nearly able to taste years of running, winning often, high on endorphins and the “thrill of victory”.

 I watched some stop to catch their breath. Others passed, reminding me of the “agony of defeat”. Labored breaths reminded me how I’d believed that if I couldn’t win, I shouldn’t run. Loads of times I didn’t win. But I was in it to win. Through health, injuries and illness, I needed to win. That race reminded me, it was a recipe for losing.

 At some point you have to stop. No one “wins” all the time. There’s always someone faster, who’ll solve the puzzle sooner, who’s in a life pose differently than you, so you think it’s better and can’t compete. But if you continue doing the thing for love, smiling with gratitude because you can do the thing, you’ve won.

 I watched until the last people kept moving after others finished so far ahead of them they’d never meet. I cheered, shouting into the stillness and the pattering of feet. I saw their thrill at doing something you love for the doing. Nothing more. It reminded me that when you let go of the need to win, to be considered “good” you find the freedom to do what you love.

 Discover what you’ll do whether you win or not. The thing for which there is no “agony of defeat”, only a deep internal peace from doing what lights you up. I found yoga, writing and solitude through that agony of defeat. My body and spirit had been badly bruised, if not broken. These things made me feel ok, eventually, whole. Ten years into my yoga studio, on my 5th book and 22 years cancer free, it’s liberating to be me.

 For this new year and holiday season, I wish we all find what we do when there is no prize at the end. I hope we can all find the thing that makes us, us.

 If you need a hand, Tribal Tulum is here with yoga, inspiration and magic. We’re starting a new series of retreats highlighting traditional Mexican therapies and, of course, yoga and meditation. Join us.

 If you’ve found the thing and want inspire others, submit to Paradise Found, Winter edition. We’ll document what winter stillness is to us. Perhaps it’s the patter of feet on pavement in a race or the sun on newly fallen snow. Or presents you’ve placed under the tree as others sleep in anticipation.

 Happiest of Holiday seasons.

Be you. Be true.

Where Your Attention Goes, Energy Flows

It’s easy to focus on the what’s not going right. We’re wired that way from when we were primates: potential death at every corner. Sometimes I wonder if we aren’t back there. Look around. We are so afraid. The bummer is, the more you focus on that, the more it builds.

Like the other morning, the wind blew my hat off as I waved to a friend driving by. Annoyed and slightly embarrassed, I turned my bike to retreive it and my skirt got stuck in the chain. When I bent to release the skirt from the rusty chain (that Jose should have greased weeks ago) I watched a motorcyclist crush my chapeau. My favorite hat lay smashed in the road. And my friend? I could see him laughing in his rearview mirror, stopped at the traffic light. His beep hello had started the whole series of events. I hated him now. Favorite hat, favorite skirt, ruined. Angry energy built frenetically around me. What next?

 I stopped. Stood there; skirt in chain, crushed hat in the street. I took a deep breath, exhaled fully. I took another long inhale and long exhale and told myself, “It’s just a hat.”  And a skirt. And a friend. And an employee. As the list grew, I smiled, then laughed at the situation. I noticed the blue and pink morning glories climbing over the chain link fence on the overgrown lot next to me. Another deep breath and I noticed a small purple blue flower growing in the crack on the pavement just by my foot: lovely. A breeze wiped the sweat from my face and a car ran over my crushed hat but this time, the air lifted it and I watched it float and roll crookedly, nearly magically, to where I could almost reach it. I pulled the skirt from the chain leaving a small tear and told myself, “I’ll find a patch.” I lowered the kickstand as a young boy passing with his mom picked up my hat and handed it to me. “Gracias,” I told him. He and his mom smiled sympathetically. I punched out the flattened top. It still fit and regardless of the tire tread pattern on its weave, my nose appreciated the shade. I hiked the skirt and felt the warm sun on my calves as I mounted the bike to slowly pedal home.

 I can’t believe that even primitive man didn’t stop to smell some flowers along the way. I don’t believe that she didn’t smell the scent of a leaf before she stuffed it into her mouth or, once she had fire, didn’t enjoy the aroma of the food she had cooked wafting into her nostrils. Perhaps she picked a similar purply blue wild flower to garnish her plate. Appreciating the little things and being present for them makes life more bearable in the worst of times and more wonderful in the best.

This holiday season, give yourself the gift of present moment awareness. Happiest of Holidays.

Paradise Found in Autumn and Tall Pines

The tall pines echoed my calls for the dog and seemed to ask, “Why are you making so much noise?”

 It was a still late afternoon on my niece’s farm. The sunset colored the sky red, pink and orange and I’d walked to the tidal river behind the fields to witness the masterpiece that seems to happen just about every day around this hour. Although the hour moves earlier each day, the spectacle of the sun setting is no less grand. As it disappeared into the darkening sky, I said thank you to no one in particular and to everyone and everything. I turned to go, giving up on the dog who thought she was a deer, taking the wise coniferous advice. As I did, she appeared.

 Why is it that so often letting go is what let’s us receive?

 So let go of your schedule and take a moment. Sit for 15 or 20 minutes. Perhaps make a hot beverage and enjoy the world, the moment and our 2nd issue of Paradise found that celebrates Autumn.

https://issuu.com/paradise.-found/docs/paradise_found_85e548238de327?fr=xKAE9_zMzMw

Day of the Dead

I walked among the dead this morning, for no reason other than to be with my old friends. My eyes caressed the crosses representing their lives. They’d been dug into the side of the road that borders the sparkling water on the Caribbean Sea. Each had been fashioned crudely from short pieces of wood. But each held an orange paper flower, marigold like, delicately tied at the cross. There were many and I walked behind them, to not bother those they represented but to rather feel their presence.

It was bliss to feel them close, after having them be so far away for too long.

And we spoke. I explained how I missed them and how I still could hear their advice. I promised to light a candle and asked how they were. The answer came on the gentle rolling of the waves and their splashing against the rocks, the breeze on my face and the cry of the gull as the pelican dove for his fish.  

Paradise Found, Again

The ocean can be yours; why should you stop  
Beguiled by dreams of evanescent dew?
The secrets of the sun are yours, but you
Content yourself with motes trapped in beams.”

Excerpt from Sufi poem Conference of the Birds

It seems our collective energy has taken a nosedive toward ugly spirituality, horrible aesthetics, overconsumption and exhausting authoritarianism. It’s easy to think shadow is overtaking the light.

 But remember, you can’t have shadow without the light.

 So here I am, on a shady dock by an empty cenote. I’m enjoying the last hour of both our days watching minnows nibble my toes until I swim beneath palms and manglars laden with seeds and root pods. A flock of Carribbean blue jays chatters from above before floating to more productive feeding ground. A Tucan clucks and calls my attention as the caretaker tells me times up. They bring me into the light. And the shadow? Well, you can’t have shadow without the light. But as the light rises, shadow becomes indistinguishable and ceases to exist. 

 Therefor, the answer is magnify your light. Create like the divine creator. Call out what you see. Live with love and light in the Paradise we rediscover around us. Hear the Sufi Hoopoe bird who encouraged the Peacock, “do not content yourself with motes trapped in beams” when the “secrets of the sun are yours.”

Be a part of Paradise Found, edition 2, Autumn. We’d love to see your interpretation of Paradise in Autumn in painting, collage, writing, photography, video, music and recording. Send submissions to 2bmonk@gmail.com before Oct 15th, 2025 or anytime you have a piece of paradise to share. We can fit it into a season.

Paradise Found

What if we never left?

What if we just forgot?

That was the conversation Bathsheba Monk and I had on a long walk on a treelined ally in late spring. Neither of us could let the concept go. What if paradise was all around us and as a culture, we’d forgotten to notice the miracles happening every moment, every day. Were we too caught up in political upheaval, collapsing ecosystems or banal financial stress to notice that there is still a paradise to be found right in front of us?

We decided to create a space to share the things that make our world paradise in small and large ways. This first collection of photos, art, writing and recording is the result. We hope you enjoy it as you wander through late summer and into fall and that it inspires you to notice the paradise that is still ours.

https://issuu.com/paradise.-found/docs/volume_1_number_1

Stories we tell ourselves

There’s a story I’ve heard for so long it’s embedded in my inner critic. You know, the one who visits in those anxious moments before we hit send on a newsletter, invite a new friend to read our work or have a look at our art, submit that poem or essay to a magazine, start something new, share things near and dear to our hearts. It comes from a constant trickle of messages that have told me, “I’m not enough.” “I’m too weird.” ‘I don’t deserve to have that opinion, that creative burst, that job, that lifestyle.” Know what I’m talking about?

Yet, through all the amazing experiences that demanded I believe in myself and believe that I can and do make a difference: engineer, yogi, yoga teacher, cancer survivor, author, business woman, immigrant, friend, lover; through every adventure, there’s been a practice that’s allowed me to embrace it all with joy despite the not so subtle voices around me. That practice is Yoga and Writing.

 It’s what frees me of the external to hear my inner wisdom and set my story free. Try journaling after your yoga practice. See what wonderful messages come through. I’ll bet you can re-write a story you’ve been telling yourself. Because remember, you are that story, make it a great one.

The Rebound

 The moment when you come out of a posture you’ve held for awhile and feel the shift. It’s sometimes a grand sensation. It’s sometimes nothing. Most often it’s in between.

 When life gives you long holds, periods of time when you’re doing the same thing, and then it changes, how do you shift? Sometimes the change is gradual. Sometimes it’s dramatic. But there’s generally a shift. Within the shift is often a message, if we stop to listen. That’s the big if. When was the last time you had a life change and took even a moment to notice and ask, “what was the message?” “What did I release?” “What can I release?”

 Long periods in a pose, a situation, a groove or a rut eventually end. That ending is an opportunity to evaluate what that situation held for you or taught you. Everything ends. Sometimes that’s a great relief. Sometimes it’s a huge sadness. And sometimes we barely notice. But if we pause, there’s always a subtle shift in perspective that we can gain from the rebound and observing it. That’s the way we learn. We respect the pose and it’s gift, regardless if we’re coming out of a groove or a rut.

Late summer can feel reboundish.  It’s the earth’s gift, if we take it. Those poignant moments when the light shifts that one degree lower on the horizon. The colors shift almost imperceptibly. The nights shorten and early summers blooms begin to fade.

This season invites us to rebound from early summer’s fury as we appreciate cooler mornings, longer nights, gifts of nature and the gentle turning of the globe. Not just for harvest. But to observe of what it might bring. We lay in the rebound aware, feeling the tingle and the posture we’ve just left behind. Can we notice how we’ve changed? What we’ve learned? What that experience felt like? Rebounding, taking the time to be in the moment, allows us to drink it in, feel the subtle shifts deeply and allow ourselves to move onto the next posture and season with a sense of openness and purpose.  

The Sadness Meridian

Mine was obviously out of balance the last week. Perhaps most of this year.

 Know what I’m talking about?

 The energetic channel for sadness is the lung/large intestine meridian pair, mostly the lung: the interface between you and the outside world. It resides in the upper body and finds balance through the breath. Of course. Postures that open the chest and arms help release blocks there. Even forward folds with a focus on expanding the back of your ribs, relaxing the neck and shoulders, can help open this channel. Makes sense, right? The breath is our first and last interaction with the outside world. And it’s easy to shorten it when things don’t feel so great. Sadness and grief knock the air from your happy existence. They take the joy away. It’s the excuse to not go anywhere, let go of healthy habits and blend moodily into a backdrop of ennui and self-absorption. It’s all about me. The world is a wasteland. It can become a trap as sadness makes it easier to say, “I’m too sad about it all to do anything.”

 That’s not where joy, change or bliss reside.

 They live in the moment when we start again, the moment of balance in our lung meridian that brings confidence and clarity, even, deep inhales and exhales. Despite the pain and grief, if we stay a little longer with our feel good habits we can let go of what doesn’t feel so good. Staying longer means sitting with whatever it is and consciously letting go – on and off the mat. Letting business as usual, like the negativity and hopelessness associated with sadness, take the back seat.

 That’s when I give myself permission to seek those things that make my life blissful. “Been writing,” I answer when someone asks where I've been. Long  moments in supported yoga poses help me fully let go. Or methodically moving through a familiar flow, no thinking, just moving, frees me. I bike to the beach, soaked in seaweed but still magnificent if you lift your gaze toward the horizon and open your heart and lungs. Looking upward, standing tall lets you see that the sun still sparkles on the waves. The world has not crumbled. There is still loads to love and to save. I retreat to the woods to find peace even if I cry as I breathe in the green. Or I simply bike for a favorite coffee, steaming hot, a friendly face serving me. I breathe in humanity rushing by. Perhaps I smile at one or two. I connect. With people. With nature. With the world.

 Connection helps us find us again.

 Ask yourself, what postures bring you joy? How can you open your chest and lead with the breath into the day. Most often, it’s small daily miracles that bring us back and allow us to exhale. A deep sigh is medicine. Repeating it, focusing on the breath we may find sadness passing, or at least diminishing. In its place enters gratitude and a deep appreciation that life is a miracle. So, inhale deeply. Sigh it out slowly. Let sadness and grief leave the body to replace them with gratitude and the energy to be the change we need in the world. Try it and tell me how it goes.

When Practice Doesn't Make Perfect

They say practice makes perfect. I’m not so sure.

 Yeah, this time was smoother. But that’s ‘cause the vet came to the house. And yes, I’ve done this before. But perfect? They say it’s painless, like falling asleep. That’s for the patient. I’m wide awake and it hurts like hell.

 Uma was a dog I’d found a home for in what seems another lifetime. Born on Tulum beach, I brought her to my friend as a puppy with her brother. They were adorable. But they’d only take Uma. She lived with them for 2 or 3 years, in this lovely boutique hotel called Playa Selva. It started as camping but the owner married a Swiss woman and she helped him build actual buildings, put in electricity and create a sanctuary for people who wanted to hear the waves and walk the beach while having a bed and a hammock, not only the latter.

 Eventually, schools, violence and a search for higher standards led them back to Europe. She convinced me I could improve my standards too - with a job. I managed her hotel for 2 plus years. Part of the job was managing Uma. At least I saw it that way. So when I managed Playa Selva, I gave Uma security, health, comfort and love. But, used to being with a family, she hated being alone. Every night she tunneled out of the nice corral we built her and I’d come to work in the morning to find her cozy home empty.

 She’d run to meet me, lean dark body a streak of black against the cream colored sand as she nearly flew over the small rise in the dune to find me making coffee in the communal kitchen. We’d walk the beach, meet the guests and she’d follow me through my day. Until at night once again, we’d try the security thing. I’d sit with her for awhile as my own dogs waited at home and I’d ask her to wait for me ‘til morning. She found it impossible.

 One morning as I hugged her good morning, a screaming man came over the dune, blocked my office door holding a spear fishing harpoon over his head and screamed, “I’m going to kill you and your dog if she ever comes to my hotel again.” Uma hid behind me, a petulant and obviously guilty child. Surprising myself, I stood, told him he’d do no such thing and demanded he leave the property. More surprising, he obeyed, similarly petulant and guilty.

 I knew Uma was a bully and picked fights with small dogs or dogs as pretty as she but not as strong. His was a lovely Dalmation and I was sure Uma beat her up. I patted her head and her brown eyes told me, “not that badly.”

 She had a boyfriend called Jimmy who’d come and play about every day around 5 pm. They’d play like crazy. Between bouts, she’d run to me breathless, covered in his slimy saliva and sweat as if to say, “This is the best,” before she ran back for a chest butt.

 One time guests at the neighbor’s camp site who’s owner had never married a Swiss woman, were grilling chicken for a party. Stoned and playing drums as they turned the prize birds over, Uma decided to take one and run. She came through the property as I was meeting a new guest, bird in mouth, with a dreadlocked, skinny guy running after her. Uma was fast. But as she stopped to enjoy her feast, the hippie caught her, ripped the bird from her mouth and ran back to throw it back on the grill.

 This was her kleptomaniac phase. The next time it was provolone cheese from another resident of the camp. He swore Uma had stolen it. I defended her and told him to search. He never found it. A week later, I dug it up, transplanting a beach lily. Life went on and for a while, we routinely found buried treasures.

 Then everything changed. The beach became “nicer”. People wanted the properties, often without paying. Visitors wanted more. So did the owners. Suddenly cool guests, clean rooms and clean water weren’t enough. The former chill vibe became daily calls asking for more and more. I was renting my own places, teaching yoga all over the beach, missing my own dogs, my cats and my life. Something had to go.

 It was Playa Selva. “I’m leaving and I’m taking your dog,” made it three dogs at my house. When I moved in with Alex – a relationship “that never should have happened” or perhaps it was meant to be -  there were four dogs. Uma had a gang.

 But, we were in town, a huge adjustment. Small consolation was an immense garden and down the road was the jungle where now it’s a maze of oversized condos and luxury hotels. For six years I made it work. And when I left Alex, the hardest thing to leave was Uma and my other rescue, Deco. By that time we were two. I had escorted the other three as they moved to the other side. Like I said, I’ve been practicing. And that’s not to mention the ones before I moved to Mexico.

 I tried taking them when I moved out. But small spaces aren’t their best. So I made a deal. They’d stay in Alex’s amazing garden with room to run and dig and chase birds and I’d visit. It seemed fair. Until his relationship didn’t like me coming and going. They took my key and my dogs. The cruelty never stopped stinging. I hadn’t seen Uma for over a year when Alex needed help and asked me to feed them. “It’s only once a day now,” he instructed, “and here’s how we do it.” Anything to see her again. I spent a wonderfully happy week visiting them every day. Then it stopped. He came back. I wasn’t needed.

 A few months later, on the full moon, Uma visited my dreams. The next day I asked Alex, “Can I come visit Uma?” He’d been meaning to tell me she was fading. “She’s old,” he reminded me. “So are we,” I reminded him.

 She hobbled out to see me. So skinny, so weak. So fast. But she gave me that dog hug, rubbing her head into my belly as I sat and scratched behind her ears. She still loved me. I so loved her. I told Alex I’d take care of everything. He’d known I would. Yesterday, he let me in again and as Uma got comfortable on the blanket I’d given her a decade ago, I sat next to her. She put her head on my knee. I stroked her quietly as the Doctor put the needles in and Uma left.

 They say practice makes perfect. I don’t feel it’s perfect at all.